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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Micah29/Male/United States Groups :icondesperatewriters: DesperateWriters
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She is stressed.

I am stressed.

She can cope.

I have no coping mechanisms in place, because anxiety is new.

She yelled at me, insinuated I don't love her.

I know these feelings aren't normal; you don't have to tell me.

I know I need to get help for myself; you don't have to tell me.

I'm sorry.

I walk around the house, a shell of myself.

No one here to bear witness to my emptiness.

I fight off the tears, taking every ounce of my will.

Men aren't supposed to cry.

I know I smile and make others laugh; you don't have to remind me.

I know I've disappointed you before; you don't have to remind me.

I'm sorry.

I've cancelled something I normally enjoy, because the anxiety is too much.

The other express concern, but all I can say is I'm sorting things out.

My head hangs low and I sit in the car, unwilling to move.

I'm sorry...
Anxiety/I'm sorry
Anyone who knows me knows I hate poetry...but this is how I feel today.

I'm sorry.
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: violence/gore, strong language and ideologically sensitive material)
Chapter One: Fuga Ignis

Cleric  Matthias ducked as another ball tore at the already-defaced railing on  the stern. "Sir!" he cried, shouting over the roar of gunfire, "We have  to make an emergency landing! I don't know how much more the ship can  take!"
Bishop  François Fontaine, standing over the body of Chancellor Veritian,  looked wild-eyed as he strained to keep the wheel steady. Matthias had  never seen the older man in this state. "Bishop Fontaine!" he cried  again, "We must land now!"
"No!"  the bishop called back to the younger cleric. "I have not come so far  to fall to brigands and blasphemers! We are almost at the Garden. I can  feel it!"
He  wrenched the wheel hard to starboard, and Matthias had to clutch the  rail to keep from sliding off the deck. The timbers of the masts  strained and groaned in agony, much like aging dry bones in the maw of  some great beast. He heard a scream of terror and glanced back just in  time to see one of the initiates, William, tumble overboard and  earthwards. Several loud thumps resonated from belowdecks as some of the  remaining cargo shifted in their hold. "This is madness, sir!"
The  bishop steadied the ship with another hard turn of the wheel and turned  to face Matthias, his face red with rage. "You dare to try and pull my  hand away from the course that God has given me? You dare to call divine  will 'madness'?! I should have you excommunicated and shot for such  heresy! The LORD has given me a chance to redeem myself in the Church  and I shall not squander it."
He  turned back to the wheel and focused on the skies ahead. Matthias  growled in frustration and looked up to see two of the aeronauts tumble  onto the deck at speed. He raced away from the helm to their aid. Emily  was already dragging herself to her feet; Gale lay on the deck, groaning  in pain and clutching her left shoulder. "Where's Juliet?" Matthias  asked, searching the sky.
"She's  dead," Emily said, sniffing a bit. "Took a stray hit in the pelvis from  a swivel gun and fell...I saw it happen.There was nothing I could  do..."
Matthias  glared at the bishop in his maddened stance at the helm, his  powder-streaked, tattered vestments flapping behind him like broken  wings. "Something must be done about this madness," Emily said in a dark  whisper. "We are equipped for combat, but not against a foe this  ferocious."
"There is no one to challenge his authority now: chancellors Veritian and Pierre are dead."
Emily turned her pale face to look at Matthias in alarm. "What?" she gasped. "How? When?"
"Veritian  was taken when shot from a swivel gun tore apart the railing near to  the helm and ripped his throat out. Pierre bled to death when he was hit  by gunfire in the stomach just after you three departed. And now the  bishop is alone at the top, maddened by this quest to claim the Garden  for the Church and God."
Hearing  a dull roar, they both looked up to see the first of the skysails light  on fire from powder flash. "...even if he takes us through Hell to get  there," Emily whispered, as the ship began a slow, uncontrollable  descent into the clouds and zephyrtronium.

                            ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~

Matthias's  eyes widened as the flames jumped from one skysail to another along the  rigging. Soon, every scrap of cloud canvas was alight, and the ship  began to shudder as its aerial stability began to erode. He felt a sharp  sudden pain as aeronaut Emily grasped his arm, digging her nails into  his skin in fear. He looked at her then followed her gaze to the bow.
An  immense line of storm clouds, darkened by the color of a dense  zephyrtronium mixture, loomed in the ship's path. Harsh violet lightning  flicked rapidly within the clouds. "Masks and goggles, now!" he  shouted, hoping to be heard above the cacophony of sound: a clashing  symphony of gunfire, screams of the dying, the inferno above, and the  bone-jarring rattle of the hull.
The  crew on deck scrambled to retrieve their protective gear and made sure  those who could not hear became aware of the danger. Emily watched in  horror as the youngest initiate, Jonah, dropped his goggles and lost his  grip on the rigging as he reached for them. His spine crunched like  mouldering wood as he struck the deck.
Visibility dropped to less than a meter as Ignes Paeni  plunged into the cloud bank. Lightning flashed all around, making no  sound, and the gunfire ceased. Matthias looked around frantically,  trying to get his bearings, when he heard wet slaps like large viscous  raindrops hitting the deck, followed by a sizzling noise. He glanced at  the deck nearby and saw something heavy and liquid strike a foot or two  away and burn into the wood. "Get away from the masts and out of the  rigging!" he called. "The flames are melting the zephrytronium into  slag!"
Soon,  the raining zephyrtronium began to ignite small fires themselves on the  dry timbers. The remaining crew had just managed to scramble near the  helm, Bishop Fontaine cackling as he still attempted to steer the doomed  vessel, when the entire deck seemed to jump upwards a foot. A roiling  explosive noise boomed across the storm, assaulting the ears of the  clerics. "That must have been the last of our powder stores blowing,  sir!" Initiate Theodore exclaimed. Then the clouds parted.
The Ignes Paeni,  truly aflame stem to stern for the only time in her career, burst from  the last of the clouds over the surface of an impossibly ancient and  overgrown city, her timbers groaning like a great dying beast. The crew  gasped as one as they took in the glorious, wild beauty for the first  time. Bishop Fontaine began to cry. "It is Paradise," he sobbed.
The burning and tattered skysails, unable to bear the weight of the Ignes Paeni  any longer, took a sickening dive towards a cluster of stone  structures. "Brace for impact!" Matthias yelled just as the prow split  the slate roof of a building and disintegrated from the impact...

Fuga Ignis
This is what I wrote as part of the failed "Winter Event" for the skysailing adventure project I started with several other writers over 2 years ago.
My part in the project is long over, as I handed the reigns off to the others. I hope to use elements from this project for my current unstarted project. I hope you all enjoy this.
Caduceus and Obsidian soon arrived in the Nobles' District to retrieve Obsidian's supplies from his hiding place. Caduceus slowed to a stop and shook some moisture from his forepaws. "All right, Ob. Where did you hide your supplies?"
"This way, sirrr," he replied, taking the lead.
Obsidian led Caduceus down an alleyway to a small sewer grate set in the stones. "I hid them herrre, sirrr," he said, pulling himself onto his back paws and grasping the grate to lift it. After a few moments struggling, he turned to Caduceus for help.
Caduceus also set up on his back paws before walking over to grasp the grate in his forepaws. "When did you hide these?" he asked, tugging on the iron with Obsidian.
"This morrrning, beffforrre going back home."
"Caduceus nodded. "The metal must have expanded from the heat of the day." With a final tug, the iron popped loose. Obsidian reached into a small alcove underneath the lip of the hole. "This is a good hiding spot," Caduceus continued. "But I see what you mean by rats being able to find them."
He gazed into the darkness of the hole. It may have been his imagination, but he thought he could already hear the scrabbling of rats echoing in the depths below the streets. Obsidian nodded. "Let's get this back in place, then I'll take you to meet the other young ones - my apprentices."
Obsidian pulled a little tied satchel from the alcove and set it to the side before helping Caduceus place the grate in place, but it wouldn't fit back into the hole. Obsidian looked at it worriedly. "Don't worry," Caduceus said with confidence. "Once the heat has left the metal, it will shrink and fit back in perfectly."
"What about rrrats, sirrr?"
Caduceus nodded. "They may escape through this hole, but they could just as easily escape through any other hole in the area. Come along."
Obsidian tied the satchel around his chest and followed as Caduceus led the him back the way they came and through the Commoner's District to get to the Market District. "What eggzactly do you do that requirrrez apprrrentices, sirrr?"
Caduceus looked at his younger companion inquisitively as they bounded along the cobbles. He jumped up several crates to a rooftop before replying. "Did your mother not tell you of what I can do?" he asked.
Obsidian shook his head. "Well, Ob, just so I don't startle you later, my apprentices and I can perform what the humans call 'magic'. Aria as well, but of a different sort."
Obsidian tested the word. "'Madge-ikk'? What's that?"
"The humans use that word to describe what they attribute incorrectly to mysticism and non-physical powers. What I and my apprentices do is carefully calculated science and the combination of certain materials to produce effects that can aid combat as well as other situations. Aria's abilities are closer to mysticism than my own, but is more a marriage of spirituality, herbalism, and science."
Obsidian seemed to process this silently for several long moments. Finally, he shook his head. "I won't prrretend to underrrstand what you said, sirrr."
"It's fine, Ob. I didn't understand it myself at first."
What Caduceus didn't tell Obsidian was that his description wasn't entirely true. While the fledgling theories of science played a part in what he and Aria could do, the success of such practice relied largely on innate ability and in Aria's case, Faith. They continued in silence for some time, jumping from roof to roof. "So...why don't yourrr apprrrenticez live with you, orrr in yourrr distrrrict, sirrr?"
"Simple: because their human is a merchant's daughter while mine is an elderly man who has no job, but enough money to live behind the walls. I only knew of their ability and intelligence at all because your mother, Ginger, and myself helped their parents a long time ago." Caduceus fell silent and offered no further explanation.
Obsidian thought about this. "Arrre they my age?"
Caduceus nodded and slowed down after jumping to another roof. He turned to face Obsidian. "They are very close to your age, yes, but I will offer you a warning. Feel free to become friends with them if you want, because they are at a stage where they need social interaction with others their own age, however, they are more accustomed to annoying each other...and me...with little jabs and jokes at one another's expense. If they begin to do the same with you, don't take it to heart. They're just trying to get you to like them. Do you understand?"
Obsidian nodded. "Very well," Caduceus continued. "We're here." He sat up on his back paws and gestured to a dim-lit window with a sigh. Two young, gray cats had their noses pressed to the glass, making silly faces. and waving at their master.
Cat-venturers Part Two
Part one of a new fantasy tale for young adults/kids inspired by Redwall, my love of cats, and this deviation……

The cast:
Caduceus - a male Siamese-Ragdoll/Ragamuffin mix with points and mittens coloration and sky blue eyes
Ginger - a female, tawny Bengal with yellow-green eyes
Obsidian - a male Bombay, solid black coloration with green eyes
The Apprentices - a male and a female grey Egyptian Mau with yellow/gold eyes

Also mentioned:
Velvet - (Obsidian's mother) a female Bombay, solid black coloration with green eyes
Aria - a female Balinese with points and mittens coloration and sapphire eyes
With a start, the old man awoke. Outside his little cottage in the Commoner's District, the sun slowly sank below the walls of the town. As the days of summer cooled and shortened into fall and winter, he was feeling more and more tired. He has intended to only take a short nap after supper, but by the fading light, he knew it had gone too long, and yet he was still very much tired.
On his lap, two bright blue eyes and a yawning pink mouth told him that his little cat could understand how he felt. He caressed the creature's fur with a withered, calloused hand. "Time for bed, eh, Caduceus?"
The mostly sand colored cat licked his nose and blinked lazily. The old man chuckled. "Well...bed for me at any rate, my little companion." He gently shooed the cat from his lap and struggled to get out of the old wooden rocker. Quickly, before all natural light disappeared from the cottage, he lit a short candle of animal fat with flint and rock.
He turned to go into his tiny bedroom, the only room separate from the main room in his home, and nearly stumbled over Caduceus, who was rubbing around his shins, purring loudly. He was about to scold the cat and push him out of the way with a foot, but the cat bounded towards the door and mewled loudly, pawing at the aged wood. Again, the elderly man chuckled. "All right, all right. I'll let you out, but don't get into too much mischief, my friend. And try not to stay out too long this time. The cottage is lonesome without company."
Caduceus appeared to purr in response as the man shuffled over to let him out. As soon as the door was open enough to for Caduceus to squeeze through, he did so and bounced off into the gathering darkness of the dirt and cobble streets. The old man closed the door behind him and the disappearance of light from under the door signaled him going to bed...

Caduceus had slowed and turned around to watch the light disappear, his eyes glinting when it did. He flicked his ears, and looked up at the stars as they began to appear, one by one, in the night sky. A large tawny female soon approached from a nearby alley and sat next to him. A long scar pulled up the skin on her left cheek, exposing several teeth. The whiskers on that side were clipped short. "Evening, Cad," she said to him, in a growling, purring resemblance of human speech. "Are you waiting for us?"
Caduceus nodded, not speaking.
The tawny turned her head to the left, looking at a roof over Caduceus's head, her eyes following a small black shape. "You invited him?"
Again Caduceus nodded. "Why?" the tawny asked, incredulous. "He's far too young to be joining us...and you know why..."
Caduceus sighed through his nose and looked down. For the first time, he spoke, his voice clear and accented more like a human's than the tawny's. "I know...but none of the rest of us can manipulate human mechanisms like he can, and we needed to find a replacement for Velvet after she got wounded last month...She assured me that her eldest was ready, but we'll see."
The tawny sniffed, her eyes still following the dark shape warily. "Who else is coming?"
Caduceus took a moment to clean his paws. "I expected Aria to arrive before you, honestly. And we have to go retrieve my apprentices from the little one's room before we get our supplies."
The little black shape jumped down to reveal itself as a small, thin black cat in the starlight and slunk over to Caduceus and the tawny. "Sirrr," he said, greeting Caduceus with a nod, his voice thickly accented with purrs. He turned to the tawny. "Mizz Gingerrr. Will we be getting underrr way soon? I don't think my suppliez will be safffe ffforrr too much longerrr."
Ginger grumbled. "I hate that name," she muttered under her breath.
"Calm, Ginny," Caduceus said. "We must live with the names we are given. Besides, he's not making fun of you."
"Easy for you to say, Caduceus. At least your owner wasn't barely out of the nursery when he named you...or you for that matter, Obsidian."
Caduceus assented with a nod. "Fair enough." He turned to the small black cat. "What do you mean, Obsidian? Why wouldn't your supplies be safe?"
Obsidian flicked his ears to get some water droplets off of them. "I hid them well enough away fffrrrom the humanz," he said, "But ifff we wait too much longerrr, they'll eazily be discoverrred by the rrrats in ourrr distrrrict."
Caduceus frowned and shared a look with Ginger. She nodded at once. "I'll go find Aria," she said. "We'll meet you at the usual hiding spot soon."
With that, Ginger bounded into the night once more. Caduceus looked at Obsidian disapprovingly for a few moments, who crouched low, ashamed, under the gaze. Caduceus laid a paw on the younger cat's head and sighed. "At least your mother taught you to hide your things," he said, offering a smile to him. "I will show you where to hide anything you need in the future." He stood and stretched. "Come along. Let's retrieve your things, then we'll fetch my apprentices before we meet Ginny and Aria. Later, I'll tell you about your mother and Ginny's first adventure," he said, chuckling. "Come along. And remember, while we're still in the streets - four paws only."
Caduceus bounded towards the Nobles' District of the town without another word. "Y-yes, sirrr," Obsidian called, pouncing after him...
Cat-venturers Part One
Part one of a new fantasy tale for young adults/kids inspired by Redwall, my love of cats, and this deviation…

The cast:
Caduceus - a male Siamese-Ragdoll/Ragamuffin mix with points and mittens coloration and sky blue eyes
Ginger - a female, tawny Bengal with yellow-green eyes
Obsidian - a male Bombay, solid black coloration with green eyes

Also mentioned:
Velvet - a female Bombay, solid black coloration with green eyes
Aria - a female Balinese with points and mittens coloration and sapphire eyes
The Apprentices - a male and a female grey Egyptian Mau with yellow/gold eyes
For those of you who watch me (and read my pitiful excuse for a journal), I'm giving you the opportunity to take part in my latest re-envisioned story idea in the form of characters. The story's prologue may be found HERE. The main story will be set in the 2010s in the United States, across the Eastern states, especially North Carolina, with flashbacks into the Prohibition Era (1920s).
If you want to take part, fill out the application and send it to me via the following methods: notes, comments on this entry, email (, or tumblr HERE
The application is as follows:

Applicant Name/Username:

Applicant Preferred Contact Information:

Character Name:

Character Race (acceptable races are Human, Nejai, Demon, Angel):

Character Approximate Birth date/Age in years:

Character Gender (psychological or assigned):

Character Approximate Height: (Feet and Inches)

Character Approximate Weight (in pounds):

Character Appearance (please include a detailed word description, excluding clothing):

Character Business/Formal Attire (detailed word description, include two or more outfits):

Character Casual Attire (detailed word description, include two or more outfits):

Character Evening-Out Attire (detailed word description, include two or more outfits):

Character Sleep Attire:

Character Occupation (After an occupation is chosen and approved, you will receive further options under this category.):

Character History (One to two paragraphs):

Character Personality (One or two paragraphs):

Living Relatives:
  • Eating: (chewing) Gum
  • Drinking: Dasani water


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: North Carolina
Favorite genre of music: just about anything except: rap, R&B, country, and most forms of modern "rock"
Operating System: Windows 7 Home Premium
Favorite cartoon character: Greed
Personal Quote: You can't rush these things you know; osmosis takes time!

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TopHat-Queen Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015   Digital Artist
Happy birthday old friend u3u
Doomsday-Prophyt Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so old, :iconimdeadplz:

but thanks
TopHat-Queen Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015   Digital Artist
It's been so long
Doomsday-Prophyt Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Aye, it has
(1 Reply)
xZombieQueen Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday~
Doomsday-Prophyt Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Knight-BIshop Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
happy birthday!
Doomsday-Prophyt Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Lady-Rosaline Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That was sweet..No time. get it and go
Demon-Child-2 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday my love, I hope you had a wonderful day! Love you~
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